Initial M!oon

been back from photog camp for a while. ok, my "a while" means days. then saw the papers and then al-zarqawi is dead?!?! things do happen real fast for once. then received my copy of times and i must say its one of the covers i really like picture of al-zarqawi and a bloody cross-out. classy. sorry, grotesque but yes, classy. and where did they get that great shot of him, ive only seen worser pics of him. not progressin well for my studies i must say am stuck havent touch physics and lep got nothing to say but just " ive gotta buck up" the camp was overall great. the plannin was good but the overall execution somehow fell below our expectations. marcius was obviously not pleased with what went on, the timelags and stuff, although i would say all these are unavoidable. cant stand the slow pace still used to the move move move style of np snakes and ladders was exhaustin coz we practically ran ran ran ran ran. urgh. morning pt. and we didnt manage to do much tasks. but i heard the yr 1s enjoyed it. telematch wet games hilarious. the bursting of balloons with butts is a bit sick but gettin wet is always fun. although i wasnt really wet aside from the splashin i got fr kaiyi the yr 1s had to do their ideas development and presentation later in the day simin was really stressed out about the lecture and although i dint really get to catch the lecture, i think she did pretty fine. heard that marcius post processin lecture somehow flopped simin thats a bit of a consolation eh. heee. im bein bad here. we, the girls walked all the way to bedok north cinenow and now i know how big bedok can be, and heed the advice. dont walk from south to north. got our dvds. i stayed awake for the movie marathon and fell asleep when mr and mrs smith came on. snuggled "like a caterpillar" (what simin said) into my sleepin bag. the sleepin was on and off and i dreamt of marcius goh askin me to go open the 105 106 door, so much for "ri you suo si ye you suo meng" haha. 2nd day was slack. coz of all the rain. we had to stay indoors and cut the shoot. so poor weihan spent his time on the map and plannin for nothing. boardgames was fun esp uno madness. the exco played includes me, simin, kanghua, weihan, marcius. its mad fun. haha. was practically luffin at everything and nothing. and marcius was so blur he kept putting the cards in the wrong slots and not realisin its his turn that i was luffin at him too. had the hustings in the evening and we totally cracked our brain finding the right person for every posts ( i cant give the details) but yeaah, it was hard deciding. esp the girls were really popomama, i believed i change my decision donno how many times during the discussion. but now when i look at the final list, im quite happy, it looks complete, and i really think they’ll do well in the next year, of course with our guidance hahaha. lol. the end of photog camp would mean no more photog. at least not officially. and im goin to miss everyone in the exco except simin coz im definitely goin to still see her around. marcius: he’s that guy who’s always so straightforward and blunt that he has greatly incurred the wrath of simin. haha. am always caught in b/t when these 2 bicker. but he’s that kindof spark in the exco, who keeps the ideas alive. corny. haha. i guess i have high eq coz i always can tolerate him. always lots of ideas, mad ones, feasible ones, wacky ones, hahaha. still remember him sayin that the chair and vchair should complement each other when we were discussin about the new exco and i was thinkin, me and him is a weird weird way of combi wanying: haha, my desperate housewife kaki. and she’s always sendin me weird msges like hey today’s mondae. and always askin me to listen to weird songs watch weird shows ive never heard of before. in photog she’s the "slack treasurer cum secretary" haha but yes, i do receive her minutes of meetings. simin: haha, i feel like typin "no comment". but cannot. ok, she’s this instructor who always gets the jitters before the lectures becoz she’s always criticised by marcius for her "you-knows" although its no big deal and something easy to overcome. really admire it when she spent so much time on the last lecture just to prove herself. u go gal. edwin: the instructor that never teaches. and the one who did something else when i had him do one on concerts. haha. and the amazing vegetarian and botak and weird photographer. he provides the laugh, im sad to say. talkin to him sometimes exasperates me. but talking about him is always entertaining. oh no all bad comments, okok he’s a really serious guy that deserves a pat on the back. at least he hasnt organised a coup against me. hee. kanghua: aka kang "flower" the meticulous worker. pity her sometimes. coz she’s really got much much to do. all the developin and sortin and archivin. if i were her, i’d be mad by now. but i learnt how to be patient and observant when doin nature, and i believe there’s still much to learn from her. weihan: HAHAHA. he has the legendary sexy legs, discovered during the photog camp when he wore his shorts, haha. intelligent and cool. when i first knew him, thought he was really quiet, but now, he’s always the "yi ming jing ren" guy who always let slip some funny or intelligent comment. seh man. adeline: our chiobu. the most zilian person in photog other than gay marcius. haha. she will be mad at me if she sees that i put her last. coz she’s always put last, photog ppl will know what i mean. also a bit slack like wanying lah, but she very fierce sia. im scared of her. *geez* all these comments are actually quite crappy. just type for fun one lah, coz dont want go to sleep. anyway, rest in peace al-Zarqaqi. see im crappy.

felt so blur during buying of logistics for photog todae.
like my soul’s not there.
rmbered that’s what cherry always tells me. sometimes while walkin out of chung cheng, she’ll say something’s wrong with her todae, and that she feels her soul isnt there
and i felt just liddat today.
maybe a different feeling, but was my version of soul not bein there
see, im blurbin nonsense

think im totally burnt out.

but ok wheni reached home. cold cold shower. and a bit of muggin and econs.

guess im alrite. although afraid i’ll fall sick during the camp which is an absolute no-no. goin to be such a spoiler.

goin to be the end of photog, but dun think anybody feels anything.
not even me.
i guess photography 4 me hasnt ended, jus that we’re not goin to stay in the club anymore.
and life’s been hectic 4 all the exco members, so nobody even has time to feel anything.
i dont know.

just sprained my neck.
saw a worm in my breakfast todae.
step on sumthing icky todae.
down on my luck again.

haha.

that 060606 thing got me i guess.

pray heaven no…..

lol

a really beautiful story i’d really like to share, written by one of my most admired photographer, gilad bernari, and a photo to go with it, enjoy:

Far away, thousand of miles from here, there is a black mountain. And on that black mountain, hiding in the mist of a forest, there is a small shack. And inside that shack there is a box, and in that box there is a heart. My heart, so no one can ever break it. Not even you. Even if you try, you will not be able to break my heart.

I’m here, with you.
I’m all here, touching your skin, gazing at you naked, inviting as silk.
We’re together, but you are angry at me for meeting with others, for not living together. You’re angry at me for not telling you I love you.
I can’t love you. My heart is far away, thousand of miles from here, inside a shack, inside a box.

You are always so serious. Smile once in a while; don’t take life so hard. We are doing all right as it is, aren’t we?
No heart. We don’t need the heart to have a good time. You don’t have to handle commitment with this kind of seriousness.

"I’m leaving you, and you will end up alone" you said. "Good" I said.
"If you want to go, go."
So you left.
It took me two weeks to call you up and tell you to come back. I’m unhappy alone. I’m unhappy without you. I’m bored, and there is no one to caress me and tell me loving words.

"I’m not coming back, unless you tell me you love me. Are we really doing all right without it?"

Why must you be so heavy, why must we force the heart into this? Don’t you know it might break?

But then you said that because I try so hard not to break my heart, I’m actually breaking yours, that the only way for us to be together is if we both use our hearts, and enjoy it. We should risk breaking it.

I knew I had to go on a long journey, but I wasn’t going to, unless you made an effort as well. I told you that by the time I return from my journey you better be lighter, and develop some sort of  a sense of humor. You promised, and so I went after my heart.

I packed a little bag with a loaf of bread, water, and a picture of you.
A wise man once told me that all a man needs to survive is food, drink, and a strong belief in the goal. Besides, I wanted the first thing I see after finding my heart to be.. You.

I was walking for hours, days, and weeks. My heart was far away, and up a black mountain. I was thinking of turning around and going back. We were doing so well without the heart…

The easiest way was if we could just receive, without calculating what we must give back. But no.. You had to have my heart in return. You better not be so serious when I get back.

I looked at your picture; so beautiful.
I kept on walking.
I became very hungry and so I ate some of the bread, and drank some of the water.

I must have already been walking for thousand of miles.
The earth can’t be round. It must be a conspiracy. It’s not possible that a man can walk for so long and still not reach the point he started from.

Here he is, the black mountain.
I climbed the mountain. A few black creatures were trying to get in my way.
One told me that there are better looking girls than you. Another told me that you don’t really love me. A huge creature kept saying you would break my heart. And the king of the black creature was shouting at me you would still be serious even after I return. So I took your picture out and I showed him. I think he understood, because he let me continue on my way.

I entered the forest. I was walking for hours and hours, almost forgot why I was walking. Almost forgot my own name. But then I noticed a bag hanging from my shoulder. I opened it, and inside was a half loaf of bread, a half bottle of water, and a picture of a girl. You. It reminded me. I almost forgot, but then I remembered.

I became hungry and thirsty again, so I ate the bread, and drank the water, and there was none left to support me on my way. Then I saw the shack. I saw many shacks.
In many shapes and colours. There were even some colours I have never seen before.
I guess a lot of people hide a lot of stuff here, stuff they are afraid of breaking.
Every shack belongs to a person, and there are a few that probably have more than one shack. How will I find mine?
I went searching, hoping to see something that stood out, and then I saw it. I recognized it from my dreams, from my dreams on you. Just as I was getting to it a giant eagle charged down at me. I was hiding behind a rock and he was circling over me. I was horrified. It was the deepest fear I ever felt. However, I went so far, I’m not going to break so close to my goal. I ran like crazy, and entered the small shack.

I lifted up the box that was there, and opened it. I could hear the eagle hovering outside, screeching at me: "I will break your heart. You better not".

Inside the box, inside red cotton, was my heart. He was looking very fragile.
I put it in my bag and turned to exit the shack, when I saw you.
You were in the opposite shack, opening a box. You lifted a piece or red humor, like the nose of a clown. Suddenly you turned around and saw me, and started laughing, and laughing… I think I love you.

We went down the other side of the black mountain and saw our house at the foot of it.
I guess the world is round.   
Actually my heart was very close; I just took the long way to find it. Maybe it was the only way to realize how much I missed it.

Funny you, I love you.

went for montage at suntec todae and i must say really enjoyed geoff ang’s sharing was impressed by his shots and professionalism too. somehow looking at his photography portfolio reminds me of those topnotch fashion photographer over at American’s Next Top Models although he does has a distictively different style. anyway he was the most entertaining as i felt eddie sung’s way of presentation a bit old skool and yup, just boring. almost fell asleep. although rock concert is really something different. thought he could have come up with a different way of presentation besides the "usual naggy and i tell u" style he has. And the fact that we’ve heard stefen chow before during his talks at tj didnt help. almost repetitive. and he shared more about everest than photography. so geoff’s one the best ive heard, and actually the best ive heard so far. keeps people engaged, somemore he’s got some looks. haha. and interesting life with beautiful supermodels and cool automotives (as he puts it) its a pity ssm left early. she missed out on good stuff. haha. he didnt really talk about the lily cole shoot in detail. although i still find it amazing to this day that he can stop traffic at orchard road. lol. im finally watchin da vinci tmr. congratulate me.

been back fr leo forum 4 quite some time
and i had a hell of a good time there. although its jus nearby johore
i guess its the good company i had
my roomies jiamin simin dajie ruilong angel=complete madness
mahjong sessions (although normally i doze off b4 we even start playing) dressing up 4 dinner make up hairdos crazy shopping arcades crappin shooting all enjoyable!!
notice the fragments in my sentences haha
the whole thing itself was really a bit boring coz the seminars and talks had no content at all, but i still had great fun. and of coz simin had a great time ogling at her zhang guan. haha.

anyway, ive yet to upload all those photos. there’s really a lot. esp the dance photos. so pls wait.

anyway, im completely absorbed in the studying mood.
have got the timetable of the month done up. and it’s beautifully done up i suppose
and im goin to study study hard for the common tests.
and get wonderful grades!
haha, see. im immersed in the mood.
u must think im mad.
anyway, are startin to do up the gu wen notes and i found out we’re lackin in some yu3 yi4. donno wad to do.
im just takin sum time off to view deviations.
and relac.

tomorro will be goin down to imh. although i’ll be goin half-heartedly. bein the good leo and samaritan i am, i shouldn’t feel this way but somehow i dread goin to imh. maybe its because seeing mr chan reminds me of my bad physics grade. urgh, that’s bein selfish. but i hope it’ll be interestin tmr since we’re goin down to the children’s ward. also, its np campfire tomorrow! and can see moi np frens again! and we will definitely havoc during campfire. haha. like what we do every year. but this year it’ll be missing jon since he’s at hq. aw….i miss him. and i need to pass him his very belated bdae gift.

tmr first will be out. more movieS! cant believe i still have not find time to catch da vinci’s code.